ICONIC PERSONALITIES: WHICH ARE YOU?

So Tobi and I (Emmanuel) have come up with a list of different personalities or rather categories of people you would most likely encounter in the ICONIKS 13 set(graduating set)***********************************************

EMMA: Tobi, seriously, remind me why we are called the ICONIKS again?

TOBI: Dude, do you have a problem with it?

EMMA: erm erm erm. Nah. I just want to know the relatedness- I hope I didn’t gbagaun there sha.

TOBI: Well, who cares? Except you have any better idea, which I seriously doubt.

EMMA: whatever…..

TOBI: ASS!    **************

Alright, in chronological order, the different personalities are as follows;

(1) GBESHERU--- According to a ‘’slap theory’’ scholar, gbesheru is a yoruba word for ‘’carry load’’ or ‘’load carrier’’. A gbesheru is someone who is too forward. These individuals derive whatever joy from carrying a huge bunch of the class load on their heads. I must say that they are actually made for school, and are sure making their parents proud. They are the type of people to arrive the department at 7am, just to remind a lecturer of an assignment due for 9am…..you guessed right!!!

HINTS---(a) obviously intelligent and with an impressive CGPA.

(b) you want them for your group assignment.

(c) always in possession of obscure handouts and materials.

(d) definitely not your friend.

(e) most likely a lecturer’s pal

(f) easily the most annoying member of the class.

ADVICE—PLEASE, WHAT HANDOUTS HAVE YOU BEEN READING? CUZ I HAVEN’T READ JACK SINCE THIS STRIKE! HELP A BROTHER.

(2) I-DON’T-CARE--- Now, there are indeed a lot of disparites between the IDC and REBELS. See, the IDC does not give a f**k about anything. They are not interested in how things are being run, nor the outcome of their less than impressive CGPA. They aren’t that school smart(for lack of a better descriptive) and would almost never put an effort to savage their grades. I’d like to believe they have a trust fund hanging out there for them after school.

HINTS---(a) a hanging 3rd class degree.

(b) never participate  in group assignment.

(c) never attend classes and even they do, its prolly for a test (ok, I kinda exaggerated there)

(d) they are always on a bad shape when attendance is read.

ADVICE—WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN IN SCHOOL?

(3)  LOVER BOY---- I thought of another name for this category, but considering they probably know who I am, it’s a good idea I just stick to this one, cos I don’t want my name mysteriously disappearing from the class register (if you know what I mean).

Back to the matter, the lover boy is smart, handsome (obviously), charming, and has his way with the ladies. As a result, he gets a lot of attention from the ladies. They love to be around him, and can’t seem to get enough of him. The major attribute of the lover boy however, is that he has openly dated or had a ‘fling’ with three or more ladies in class. When asked about it, he just down plays the whole thing. (He might even have dated best friends before- don’t tell anyone I told you that. I’ll deny it if you do). The ladies tend not to mind that he’s in a relationship because they still want to get with him notwithstanding.

As much as it may come as a surprise to you, it’s not me (yeah, I know you’re disappointed). But I think you know exactly who I’m talking about.

HINTS-- (a) They are more than one

(b) Like I said earlier, my name could mysteriously disappear from the class register

(4)  MR NICE GUY---- First, I gotta let this outta my chest. I hate every mr nice guy and mrs nice girl (maybe not if she’s pretty). I hope they step on a freaking snake. *sighs*  Why do they have to be too nice and make the rest of us look bad? This group of people are actually kind (pleaseeeee, its feigned. Nobody is that nice) and are always there when you need help. You sprain your ankle, they’d be there to soothe you. You faint (even if its feigned), they'll carry you to the health centre.You need ‘’pure water’’, they’d give a bottled water. They are just annoyingly nice.

HINTS---(a) they are particularly not known for their intelligence or beauty, rather for their friendly disposition and kindness.

(b) always seen working or running errands for lecturers-note that they weren’t even voted as class reps. Never ever!

(c) for the guys, they are serial flirts (abeg, do your investigations)

(d) some of them might be the oldest in class.

(e) they sometimes call for meetings

ADVICE--  PLEASE, CAN YOU NOT BE NICE TO MY CRUSH. THANKS.

(5)  THE PURITANICAL---This category is quite close to the S.U. people. The puritanical however is not a full blown S.U. Like the name suggests, they have certain codes of behavior, and usually do not easily understand sarcasm, not because they’re not smart, but because they’re too uptight to understand. They’ll probably be the first to condemn this article, claiming people’s feelings have been hurt. The puritanical character is smart, outgoing, and takes his work seriously. He sometimes even flirts (albeit jokingly) with girls. He is kinda superstitious, reading meaning into almost everything. He sometimes wishes he could be like the irreverent guy, but he can’t. His upbringing can’t allow him do that. Make no mistake, he does have a sense of humor, but he has limits also. You would never catch him making a dirty joke, and if anyone does that around him, he is quick to make his disgust known.

HINTS- (a) Tobi said one of them has a name that rhymes with the ‘Queen Bee’.

 (b) an impressive CGPA

(c) just friggin uptight

(d) closet flirts

(e) they have been called Afrikka more times than their actual names

(f) even with their x-ray vision,one of them wears glasses and probably thinks it makes him more intelligent

(g) due to their impressive wit and influential status,they have lots of females hanging around them- trust me,any affair with them is platonic.(They'd prolly be against coitus)lol

ADVICE- please don't judge us! Abeg

(6) REBELS—This group of people are actually quite intelligent and are not oblivious to that fact. They would like to have us believe they have a better idea of how things should be done administratively at the department. Thus, they always see the need to oppose the authorities without clear cut reason, or perhaps proffer pragmatic solutions. I actually feel these folks are usually grossly swayed by too much tv, books and other philosophical shits.

HINTS-(a) Almost never participates with organized events, parties or programmes. To them, all these are too mainstream and frivolous.

(b) An animated personality.

(c) Never agrees with a lecturer or lecture notes. You’d mostly catch them arguing with the poor lecturer. And for the not-so-outspoken ones, you hear them mumble under their breath.

(e) vast knowledge and great conversationalist.

ADVICE—YOU WILL LEARN LESSON!

(7) SUIT AND TIE---When American superstar musician, Justin Timberlake decided to compose the "suit and tie" song, I bet he had this particular folks in mind. This category are always looking for an excuse to dress coporate. "Hey, its Osabor’s birthday", they gonna be on a suit and tie. "Hey, they just posted our results online", they gonna be on a suit and tie. "Hey , we a have a prof test today", they gonna be on a suit and tie. Guys, these peeps can’t wait for school to be over.

HINTS---(a) intelligent and quite ambitious.

(b) not really blessed with an impressive fashion taste though.

(c) may belong to an association and most likely hold an official post.

(d) favourite fashion items include—jacket,suits and a pair of glasses.

(e) quite condescending

ADVICE--- ABEGI give us a break!!!!!!

(8)   S.U.--- In the words of one of my friends, these set of people are, “church goers and quite anonymous in class. They are quite irrelevant, that you might see them in 5 years after school and not know you guys were in the same class”.

 These people are the God-fearing ones. They attend CFC almost on a regular basis (don’t get me wrong, not everyone that attends CFC is God- fearing). You would usually find them sitting in front during lectures. Most of them are quiet, rarely saying more than they have to. They carry out their work with diligence, and you would most likely find them in one fellowship or the other, some even belonging to three or more fellowships, and been active members in all of them. They are smart, but it probably does not reflect on their C.G.P.A. Not that they have bad grades, just that they can do better than their current result indicates.

HINTS-- (a) the front seats were made for them

(b) you prolly never had a 10mins conversation with them

(c) intelligent (they wud aff to be)

(d) they never follow trends

(e) they addressed you with "brother" and "sister" before.

(f) admit it, u kinda feel sorry for them. 

ADVICE--Please pray for us! We need help.

(9)  THE TRADERS--- I once heard that school is not a level playing field for everybody. It’s like bringing together a monkey, a Fish and an Elephant, and for the sake of equality, judging them by who can climb a tree fastest, since they all have the same task to do. We all know how it would end.

My little analogy applies to this group of people. They are intelligent, but not in the ‘conventional’ way. They might not be the brightest in class, (hell, some of them have even given up on gunning for a ‘good result’) but in their chosen fields, they have the potential to excel. Some of them hardly come to class, preferring to pay more attention to what they do best. The others who do come probably do so because they feel they should take things one step at a time.

As the name of this category of people suggests, they are known for their business acumen or special skills.

HINTS (a) "no be by 2:1 or first class dem dey take make " you prolly heard them say dis

(b) at one point in time asked you to buy from them

(c) learned a new skill to make up for academic deficiencies

(d) might have at one point in time aspired to be the best in class. But hey! You know how mass comm is, hence dreams crushed

ADVICE: I feel your hustle!

(10)  V-SLUTS--- Yeah, well, as you probably figured, the name is kinda paradoxical (forgive the grammar; I just had to use it. I mean I spent four years in school, I had to justify it somehow). Well, the Vslut or Slvts are pretty, sexy, and as a result always have guys swarming around them. Some are notorious for being spotted with a different guy ever other day. Some have even been told to their face that they look like sluts. I’ve even heard some people refer to them as “Bottoms up” (I wouldn’t know what that means. The only other time I heard the phrase was on a Trey Songz track of the same title). However, this might come as a surprise to some of you, but they are not (sluts that is). Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying they are the proverbial ‘V’, but they are not exactly ‘S’ either. I’m not vouching for them (I mean can you really vouch for anyone these days?) but what little I know suggests that some of them (please don’t quote me on this) might not have seen the ‘D’ before. I could be VERY wrong- hell, I think I am- but I think we all should give them the benefit of the doubt. Her looks might suggest otherwise (maybe her character too at times), but I think ultimately, she’s the kind of girl mama would approve of when she gets to know her.

HINTS --(a)has more male friends than females

(b) mostly intelligent

(c)never really use to be noticed until her rise to "sexiness"

(d)you just know she doesn't knw wat the D feels like

(e)Guys, don't be decieved, she isn't ur girlfriend

(f) she calls every Nigger out there her husband. 

ADVICE- MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND ALREADYS! STOP LEADING ME ON.

NB; if you observed any close relationship between your personality to any one mentioned here, and you feel we were too harsh, ‘’I take God beg you’’, don’t take it personal. And for those OCD sufferers with the grammar pedantry syndrome, please keep your grammar lessons to yourself. We are only trying to have some fun. A little fun ain’t never hurt nobody. As you know, the class is quite large, hence we might not have been able to capture all the personalities. If you didn’t see yourself in any of the above, then watch out for the second installment**************

EMMA: Tobi, I actually feel empty and useless.

TOBI: Lmao. Prolly cuz you’re…OK why?

EMMA: I feel we should be doing something serious at the moment.

TOBI: Dude, like what?

EMMA: Where exactly are you in your project?

TOBI: chapter three. And why?

EMMA: *covers face* we really are not serious.

TOBI: hahahahahaha! Speak for yourself..

So guys, here we have it!  Ten types of people in the ARR---C0RN----NIKS !3 Set.

TOBI: LOL I saw what you did there with the iconiks..FOOL.

EMMA: what na?

TOBI: Dude, you have issues.

EMMA: Yeah, and you have 'intercomm'.

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